Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Bad Dreams

I must be really worried about the upcoming PET scan because Phil said I woke him up screaming, "Oh, dear Jesus!" sometime during the night/early morning hours on Sunday. He thought I was channeling his grandma for a minute. He rubbed my shoulder until I fell back to sleep.

I remember having a bad dream early Monday morning, as well. I dreamt that Dr. Moser told me my CEA levels were steadily rising and that my PET scan revealed spots on the lungs and brain. Is this what it's going to be like for the next five years? I feel so stressed thinking "what if......"

This is difficult. Is every cancer patient/survivor going through this?

I feel good. I don't think God would allow me to suffer with cancer a second time.

The clock went off at 7 a.m. this morning. I kept thinking why doesn't someone turn that music down? :) I finally woke up and got myself out the door to meet another DAR member in Somerset to discuss our fundraiser for the State Regent's Project. Such a sweet young woman. It was a pleasure to meet her.

I left there about 11:30 and headed over to Tractor Supply and then next door to Salvation Army thrift store. Love that place! I was looking for Barbies and toys for Jassmine to play with when she comes over. I bought some Barbie furniture. She should have fun with that. Would like to find a Barbie dreamhouse. I found a pair of size 7 jean shorts for Chucky. Also, picked up a PFD for Jassie to wear if the kids take her out in the boat.

Yesterday I had a bunch of errands to do and with detours around Greensburg I ended up at the Gloria Horn sewing shop. I stopped in to find out how much it would cost to take a look at my Brother PE150 embroidery machine. I bought it a couple years ago at the thrift store for $49. I thought it would be fun to play around with it and at $49 if I couldn't get the thing to work I wasn't out a ton of dough. The only thing I can find wrong with it is the tension is set too high and I can't adjust that. I have no idea where the adjuster is.

When I start the machine it breaks thread. Anyway, they charge $79.95 to take a look at it. I'm hoping if anything is wrong with it the cost won't be major to have it repaired. One of my nurses from the cancer center is a part owner in the business. She is supposed to be in there tomorrow afternoon so I want to stop by to see her and drop off the machine.

I'm going to the chapter house tomorrow morning to work on our program book with the girls. Jess asked me to stop over to watch the kids for her in the afternoon. I think she has a doctors appointment. Last time I watched the kids I put my back out bending over to pick one of the babies up out of the swings. They are low rider swings. {Think Low-Ri-der by ZZ Top!}

I came home from my meeting in Somerset, made phone calls regarding the fundraiser and got a call from Randy. He needed me to check on a part for a furnace. The furnace is not one that we carry parts for but I was able to locate the part and called him back to let him know how much it cost. Afterwards I took a short nap.

I've got to get out and feed animals, and then start dinner for me and Phil. Last night was Cracker Barrel and we can't do that every night. I was up past midnight downloading our banking transactions into Quicken. Can't eat out every night or we won't have any $$. Phil gently reminded me that he gets up at 4 a.m. and to shut the light out. giggle I said, "Yes, daddy."

Oh, my parents will be up this Friday! They are coming in for Aunt Barb and Uncle Edmund's party on Sunday for their granddaughter Francesca. She is graduating from high school.

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