Friday, August 7, 2009


Yesterday I was unplugged from the chemo bag. That is always such a relief for me. An entire week off with no chemo and no bag to drag around!

I had a slight bit of nausea on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday I had to stop and eat a sandwich before we left for the cancer center. If I don't eat I get to feeling sick and I'd rather not get into that. The Zofran gives me headaches so I'm taking the Ativan. They only gave me 30 pills which is not enough if I'm supposed to take one pill every 10 hours.

Last night I told Phil if it comes down to the doctors telling me I need to do a 3rd year of treatment I am going to tell them no. I expected my cancer to have been gone last year after I had such a good reaction to the chemo drugs. Now a year later my cancer is back and another six months or however long to do chemo. There will not be a third time. If this doesn't work that is it. Phil was very upset and angry at me. He thinks I should keep fighting and doing chemo for the remainder of my life. I can't accept a quality of life like that. I'm going to take what I'm given and that's it. I thank God for every single day I've been given but I'm not going to keep doing this in order to get a few more months out of it. I really hope people can understand what I'm saying.


Daria said...

Thank you for that post ... I often question my quality of life.

These are awfully tough decisions.

Tina said...

Ugh! I hated that stupid bag! Everyone told me to give it a name--but I didn't want to become that "friendly" with it!
Enjoy your week--and don't worry about the future--today has enough problems of its own :) Let God worry about it.
Take care!!